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when I was having children. That was not the goal." Her mother made it clear that Henein should prioritize autonomy through her career. "It was drummed in my head. . . . The only thing she would talk to me about was, 'What are you going to be? What are you going to do?'" To illustrate this point, she recollects an exchange when shopping for her wed- ding dress. The saleswoman turned to Henein's mother and said, "You must be really proud that your daughter's get- ting married." Her mother responded: "I was proud of her when she got her law degree; I was more proud of her when she got her graduate degree; it is very nice for her that she is getting married. But that's not why I'm proud of her." The clerk was left speechless. Henein admits her frustration in seeing, as she says, "women leaving the defence bar in droves." She believes the exodus has been led by the view that women fail in their personal lives if they fully commit to succeeding as a lawyer. "I think the stress of that for women who feel that they cannot demand or be entitled to do every single thing that males do in this business, that they are not given the liberty to do that, is something that drives women out of this profession," she says. "It's a lonely place to be." Yet she remains hopeful that new law- yers will seek guidance from their more experienced peers. Henein — who has two young boys with husband of 15 years Glen Jennings, a defence lawyer with Hunt Partners LLP in Toronto — fields her share of inquiries. Young women lawyers bombard her with questions like, "How can I do it all? How can I be every- thing, every time, everywhere?" This pressure, says Henein, starts to weigh on women from the moment they graduate from law school. She suggests women lawyers should begin to expect more of themselves, and draw on the aid of those around them to help them accomplish their goals. "I think there's a role to play in inspiring these women, and not sim- ply telling them, the moment they enter into this career, that they should think of other alternatives," says Henein. "That they should be driven out, because they should compromise. That's the bottom "There was no other option for me. Ever since I was in elementary school, if you asked me what I wanted to do, it was to be a criminal defence lawyer." — Marie Henein line — it's that you need to find a job that will accommodate you doing absolutely everything. I just never remember those sorts of programs being in place for men. I just don't remember the program which said to the men of this profession, 'Here, we're going to teach you how to be a good dad, and a good lawyer, and what we tell you to do is you should probably try to compromise in your profession.'" Compromise is clearly not a theme in the life of Marie Henein, and a big Subscribe today to Canadian Lawyer Canadian Lawyer is the ultimate source for today's legal professional. Keep up to date and informed by subscribing today for only $65 a year! S t . John ' s city re v iew • Wild , wild web • Carri age ba ttles July 2009 July 2009 Along with 11 issues packed with insights, trends and analysis, you'll also receive access to Canadian Lawyer's exclusive digital edition and digital edi- tion archives, available only to regis- tered subscribers. You'll stay up to date on breaking news between issues with Canadian Legal Newswire, our free weekly enewsletter that is edited by our legal reporting team. 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